Almost a year!

I cannot believe it has been just about a year since I have started this blog. And little under a year since I posted. You would think that at this time I would have some great news, it could not be further from the truth. All the weight I lost for the wedding in March, I have gained back and then some. Yay me...I have been bouncing around and yo-yoing for quite sometime now. I lose it, then I gain it....I felt like I looked OK for my son's wedding in October, but really I could have been better. I look at the wedding pics and I am only in a few of them, because I had no desire to be in front of a camera. Which brings me to today. As I sit here in bed, someplace I have been for a few days now, I realized one thing...my eating habits, my exercise habits (or lack thereof) my lack of motivation, my lack of energy.....This is no way to live, this is a way to die. I have used so many excuses lately, I blame my MS, I blame PMS, I blame the winter, when in fact there is only one thing to blame, myself. I hate myself..I hate the way I feel, I hate the way I look. I seriously started to consider hiding all the mirrors in the house so I do not have to look at myself.

But that all must change....I MUST change...I want to like myself again, I want to feel better again..hell I want to live....So I make this vow right now, it starts now...my new life starts now...happiness starts now! Watch and see....

And Carie..I dedicate this blog to you since it has been on my mind ever since yo ubrought it up..last week or last month, whenever it was LOL